# Dating a 35 year old woman

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Yours could be the , there are always exceptions and I do know at least one match made in heaven where there is a 24 year difference. There is an increase in spontaneous miscarriage with an approximate risk of 25 percent in women age 35-39 and 51 percent in women 40-44. BDW she is single according to my sources but I am not sure if she is seeing anyone or whether she would approve of this all craziness.\
&#x20;![dating a 35 year old woman](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/03/08/18/31FF548000000578-3482646-image-a-104_1457462244090.jpg)\\

She has a right to wait until she wants. Men lie to each other about using the little blue pill and rarely if at all do men discuss this issue with each other. So you can both quote social popular culture references. I am a young 74 and have always attracted much younger men. Obviously, this is anecdotal, but the point is that percentages and statistics are not absolutes. We love kids, both of us would make good parents. Now I am bored to for.

A study of women 35-39 found they were twice as likely to get pregnant if their partner was under 40 vs. He stuck with her anyway for a while to avoid being alone but he did eventually dump her. For most of them, this was a fairly new shift in their lives, one that had taken many by surprise. Of COURSE I hold him responsible for his cheating!\
&#x20;![dating a 35 year old woman](http://kstp.com/kstpImages/repository/2015-02/AlecErlingNeal.jpg)\\

**Older Women Dating Younger Men: Doomed from the Start or Happily Ever After in Cougarville?** - She's been around the block a bit, but she's still not a luscious, incredible woman over the age of 30 yet. Age is just a number after all… I am 23 and my fiancé is 39.\
&#x20;![dating a 35 year old woman](http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1293789/thumbs/o-SINGLE-WOMEN-facebook.jpg)\\

I thought that since I was an attractive, fit, well-educated, financially and emotionally secure guy that I would have no problem finding a woman in her mid 30s to settle down with and start a family. I have tried a combination of online dating, speed dating, professional singles events, volunteering, happy hours etc. I thought that online dating would be great since you are essentially pre-screening people for dates. I am told that women want to settle down and have kids, etc. At singles events, women come in groups and are reluctant to talk to men. In online situations, women say they want desperately to meet a nice guy like me, but never answer my response to their profile. I am trying to remain positive, but two things are really bothering me. One, that younger women are no longer interested in dating men who are even just slightly 3-5 years older than them and sometimes want to date men 5-10 years younger then them. I find the latter hard to believe, but find this mantra in every profile of every professional woman online. Any advice on how to navigate these new paradigms in the dating world? Adam Dear Adam, You came to the right place. From 25-34, men play around a lot. Once a guy crosses 35, however, he theoretically tends to get more serious. Alas, the women with whom he wants to get serious are 27-34. This gives men time to court, fall in love, travel together, move in, get engaged, and enjoy a few years of childless marriage before starting a family. The problem is that many women from 27-34 are independent professionals just like their male peers. Then she hits 35. Theoretically, this is when she starts to get more serious. This is also when all the problems start. Because 35-40-year-old men who are ready to settle down still want to have time before becoming dads. Thus, their target market remains women, 27-34 — who may not be ready to settle down quite yet. These women still have money to make, places to travel and oats to sow. The 35-40-year-old women who ARE ready for marriage, unfortunately, are roundly ignored by the men they desire — their 35-40-year-old peers. Which brings us to you, Adam. And around and around we go. Pick up a copy of and it should make a difference. But the bigger takeaway is that ALL of us are very judgmental on age. To a 34 year old woman, 42 sounds OLD. To a 42-year-old man who wants his own biological children, anything above 36 is getting into risky territory. I like the way you broke it down. Funny how that works out. And like you said, round and round we go…. I am 34 and it is clear as daylight that waiting this long was a mistake and makes things harder…nkt impossible but harder. Yet people constantly advise that you have all this time and to go galavanting all over the globe and this is fine UNLESS you know you want a family. I am having a child on my own and I will tell her be married by 30 if you intend on having a family. The reality is for the best outcome you dont have all day. Did it ever occur to you that maybe some of us got jerked around and lied to for years??? You got knocked up at 20. While I was traveling and seeing the world, and studying and developing and living, you were babysitting. I can still have kids, but you will never have the adventures I had. I knew well that time to have babies was limited. Since my kids will be grown by my late 40s I will have plenty of time to go on those adventures you speak of. The sad reality is that women were sold a false message that we could have it all. We were told it was OK to put off having children, that there would time for that later, after our careers were established. We had the most amazing time and connection until I brought up the fact that I had my tubes tied after having my second son and he decided to end the relationship that was nearly staring becuase he wants children. WHY DO YOU WANT CHILDREN AT 47? He is chasing a dream that may be tough to achieve. Most of us in our 40s are in the same position as you. Realistically speaking, he is going to have to find either a woman in her 40s who wants to have kids not impossible for sure or try to court a younger woman. Unless he has something very special that sets him above all the other men in their 30s and early 40s, younger women will likely reject him for guys closer to their own ages. He will learn one day that he needs to compromise on something somewhere. In fact I reckon he saw it as temporary thing from the very outset. Beautiful at 40 was just unlucky to get caught up with him and not be able to suss him out properly. I searched throughout my 20s for a woman. But I made a stupid mistake. I never even thought of it. I mean, what were we getting married for? Of course we would have children…or so I thought. My best friend told me years later he DID have that exact conversation with his wife. She wanted to marry him very badly, and he told her to forget about it unless she gave him a child. Seems so FREAKING SIMPLE in hindsight. Biggest regret of my life, not having that conversation with my ex-wife. So this animal wasted my 30s, divorced me, and now here I am. I still want my own children. And as a 42 year old man, I have all the problems that were covered in this article. So should I give up now? All of us in the same boat should just wait around to die now, because alert is so much smarter than us, and she says we waited too long. It is not constructive in any way. All I can say is never give up. Last year, I dated a girl who was 22 years old, nearly half my age. These girls are out there. You are spot on with your comment. Just food for thought, it is the women who control reproduction, not men. So women have the key. Most women I have worked with always wanted to work with us men. One of them was aiming her comments at me being 34. Also, that one colleague now has moved back home to her mum, at 39, she kicked her son out as he is 21. She is single now, never married, lives at home with her mum. Wow how awesome, she had her son young but has nothing to show for it. All she has now is living at home with her mum, no bloke on the horizon and works as a PA. Especially, since they know they control reproduction. I never heard this type of comment from my mother. Mind you, I am not from a Western culture as I am Eastern European. We have slightly different values. I have several degrees, own two homes, two cars, citizen of four different countries, lived on 4 different continents, just launching my own company with approx £1million pound investment and I am only 34. Luckily I am married now, and me and my wife are desperately trying for a child. Unfortuntely, she has suffered from bad fibroids in the womb all her life. The point is, stop judging everyone else, when clearly as women, you are in control when and if you have children, NOT THE MEN! Honestly, you hardly have to date 22 year olds to find someone to have children with. It sounds like both you and your ex-wife made mistakes. There are many women in the same position as you, if you have the heart to look at women the same way you look at men. Just educate yourself about your own body and paternal age affects on children. Women are very aware of their age when it comes to children. But it benefits men themselves to be more aware of how their paternal age can affect their own off-spring. You should if you want them. Norbert — Can you see how strange it is that you wrap up your comments by telling others not to judge but your entire post is nothing but some terrible judgements on women? Men have as much autonomy as any other human being when it comes to children. Any individual woman or man has a say in when and if they have children. And any individual woman or man sometimes encounters things that are out of their control. If you want women to like you, you actually have to like women. Could you be more degrading toward women? There is nothing wrong with you having kids after 34. I would never been able to handle kids in my early 20s. And that I will be a better Mom now then I would have been when I was younger. I have no clue why you feel the need to tear down this 39 year old mum just because she said that to you. Are you not engaging in the same behavior she was by tearing someone else down for their choices? Maybe her and her mum are really close? You may be attracted to women, you may love them or want to sleep with them, but you do not have a fundamental respect, true appreciation of or like for women. And it shines through in the way you choose to talk about women here. Women want to be with men that truly like them. Perhaps you hsould take your own advice.. When I online dated in my late 20s early 30s the thought of dating a man over 40 was creep city to me no way I would have done it! Most of the ladies I know in that age range now feel the same. So while fertility may be an issue for women sexuality because one for men! Women want it more and men can provide it less. I tend to date men who have kids and are not looking for more because I too get a lot of well I want kids you are too old. Hello you are 45 and looking to have a baby? Even though physically it may be possible is it a good idea? Men play around a ton in their 30s. If kids are a priority to you men you really need to look for this in your 30s as well. I would recommend that you adopt, for the health of your children, but even then, at 42, you would be 65 by the time your kids graduate from college! This dude is way off base. The liklihood of a child having the problems you mention, particularly bipolar, skyrocket when bio dad is over 40. Funny how how seems to ignore this and just expects the girls to come flocking. YOUNGER than me at age 38. Perfectly healthy child, bright, vigorous and healthy. Personally, I do it because younger men like me far more than older. Half of all cases of Down Syndrome are linked to men 40 and over. Marry somebody because you love them, and only for that reason. Any other reason is not a healthy reason to marry. So it could you be that younger men are actively avoiding women that they are related to. Having children with someone who is very genetically similar to you increases the risk of birth defects. So I would take these findings with a grain of salt. Just look for someone cares for you, is open to have kids and is ambitious enough to be able to provide for a child. Are you advocating rape? Because I keep seeing all these comments about waiting too long, but I thought it took two to tango and I needed a willing partner to have a child. I think in some parts of the 3rd world, they still buy and sell girls like cattle. Is this the new excuse now? That men over 40 have retarded babies? I think the real retards are the women writing these posts. PLEASE GOD…let me be a fly on the wall when these younger men leave these women because the women get too old. About 14 percent of births in the United States are to women 35 and older. Now they are considered advanced maternal age. What does that mean exactly? I thought I would tackle the issues of advanced maternal age in two parts. Today I will talk about conception and early pregnancy. I will cover more of the possible issues of late pregnancy in women over 35 if you are interested. My goal is not to make light of the potential issues but rather put them in perspective. Women over 35 may take longer to be able to conceive. This is related to those eggs we have had since birth. Our eggs are with us almost from conception. They can lose quality and there can be fewer of them. This is one reason to seek help from your health care provider if you have been unable to achieve pregnancy after trying for 6 months. There is an increase in spontaneous miscarriage with an approximate risk of 25 percent in women age 35-39 and 51 percent in women 40-44. If you look at this another way, women 35-39 have a 75 percent chance of not having a miscarriage. The concern many women over 35 hear about most often is Down Syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities. Her risk of a baby with Down Syndrome is about 1 in 365. In other words, the odds of having an absolutely normal baby would be about 99. There are so many positive things about having children when we are older and yet the increased risks are real. Learn as much as possible and if and when you get pregnant, rejoice! Actually, men at 42 are not as fertile as younger men. Neither do they offer as quality sperm. If you want children and are older, you should have them. But you should also be aware of the risks. And women should be aware of the risks of having children with older men. Just like men are aware of the risks of having children with older women. Even after taking into account the age of the would be mother. The risk of miscarriage and premature birth rises once a man is over the age of 40. With men over 50, a pregnancy was twice as likely to end in the loss of a baby vs younger fathers. Older fathers also increase the risk of autism and shizophrenia in children. They are also responsible for genetic disorders. Men over 50 where 8 times more likely to produce children with dwarfism. There is no shame in any of this. But I do believe men ignore their own reproductive responsibility and blame women for the brunt of the responsibility when medical science is discovering that men are major contributing factors to issues in children. Biology did not create a system where older men where the prime sexual partners. It did create a system that would protect the species from extinction. But since younger men still exist in droves, younger men, just like younger women, are the prime sexual partners. Older men, just like older women, are not. Women are very aware of how being older affects potential off spring. However, there is not enough conversation and information given to men about how their age affects children as well. A woman has a much better chance of having healthy children with younger men, than older men. HOpe this helps you. And also the age of both men and woman counts as well. And even it is true, the odds are still slim. But regardless of this debate, you should ask yourself what your intentions are in even being here. The women here want to find love with men that honor and respect us. This is a website women come to because they want love. Because they love men. And it would be nice if you treated us like that instead of trying to exploit some misguided competition because of your desire to prove you are better simply because you are a man. Because that is what this website is about. If you want to get into debates that self-serve your own unrealistic, fantasy based ideology about your male prowess, you certainly have a million other spaces where you can spend all the time you need to sprouting false facts about biology and telling yourself all kinds of false things to make yourself feel good. The women here do not exist so that you can feel like you have female attention to spread your negativity and dislike for the female gender. The women here do not exist to be walking wombs to carry on your genetic line. We are human beings deserving of love, kindness, compassion and respect. The women here are looking to find love with good men who honor, respect and care about women. They are not here so insecure guys can pontificate about their own imaged prowess and play truly horrible games of imagin d biological competion. We need good men here. Men who really have a pure intention to help. Let us do that. And you are more than free to find websites that align with you ideology and where you can spend all day long talking on the internet about your imagined biological superiority. I had my first girlfriend at 30. We love kids, both of us would make good parents. I want to fully experience a relationship, sex and all the other wonderful things. If I started a family now, I would not be happpy. I told her that despite being together for many years, we still have alot of things to do, seperate and together. She has started her own business, now 29 years old. She is not ready to have kids, so it works out for both of us. To me age is irellevant. Where I am at in my life matters more. I am not your average man with the standard values and expectations everyone else have. For me there is no age limit for anything. To me this is the best thing for me. People tend to think what is best for them is also best for everyone else. David Letterman got his firs child after 50. Mick Jagger just became a dad and he is 73. Listen to your heart. Then you use examples of wealthy elderly men who had children with much younger women. You are either here to support women or support your own agenda. Everything you said this far is about supporting your own agenda of women settling for older men. Autism is on the rise and has been linked to older fathers. Among many other diseases. Please have children when you want. But stop trying to convince women to be with older men when you most certainly would never pick an older women to be with. Especially older men who are not taking the balk of the finiancial burden. Which should be the pay off in being with an older man. The laughing stock of the planet. Men over 40 have been having kids for literally hundreds of years. Work hard and get your lady like we always have. There is literally little to no evidence to support the above claims. Woman will of course clamour to this one paper because it makes them feel better because they have problems in their 40s having kids. It is PC bullshit. I have a close friend as well, she is 43 had twins 2 years ago. She is now pregnant again!! Who has the phone number of this 42 frustraded man.. I am 40, healthy, wanting to have a relationaship, have kids.. But you excluded us already looking for a young girl.. There are also 42 year old women that want children. What do you think of these women? Well, guess what, IT GOES BOTH WAYS! You have had decades to have children and decided not to up until this point. But that is simply not reality. Unfortunately, this message is a little late for you. Based on some age studies I have looked on IVF sites, most women are infertile by age 42, most men are not. Half of all cases of Down Syndrome are linked to men 40 and over according to the first major study of its kind. A study in England found women aged 35 paired with men aged 40 were 50% less likely to conceive compared with women paired with a man 10 years younger. The Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children found men who were ideal physical candidates and had more sex than the average middle aged man were still 35% less fertile by age 40. Even studies on mice and in some fertility clinics found a 40-50% drop in fertility for men aged 40 and increased miscarriage rates. Time catches up with men too, as much as they would like to deny it has any effect on them. There are still plenty of 25 to 35 year old guys out there that are more appealing to those women. Wake up and find someone closer to your OWN age!!! I would not date someone whom I do not understand even if she is cute. I would probably learn her language because there is no working relationship without communication. I am in the same boat as the original writer. I look a lot younger, I am fit, have a good job. I am not looking for a 25 year old, they are immature, sometimes if I open the door or pull out the chair for them they look surprised, they do not get it. I think finding someone close to my years and older than is a realistic goal. However I have zero luck even though I live in San Diego, California where one would think opportunity is everywhere. I do not discriminate based on race or having children because I adopt to these. My experience supports this theory too. These older guys are still not looking for a serious relationship because they likely never will. Continue looking for the 1 or 2 decent guys near your own age who want what you do, marriage and kids. Life is so exciting travelling the world and acting like I am young again. I am experiencing a mid-life revival where my health is great, I feel 21 again, and it is easy for me to get distracted by the many good things of this world. We can become so obsessed with qualifying for eligibility, i. Women have such high expectations of men. Modern feminists have a lot to answer for. They overcompensated for years of oppression by devaluing men and overselling the power of women to the extent that the social mirror for women these days shames women who want to be stay-home moms. That expectation was created by feminists. Or so the social mirror compels them. I just want someone committed to the relationship more than committed to self. Because both genders have inherent traits that benefit family-making. When both work together, harmony and nirvana are achieved. The problem today is that people are too committed to getting what they want. If people would only focus on making each other happy, then all would be well. You wade through trials together and grow together. People only grow apart because they get selfish. We have forgotten the pleasure of making our lover laugh or feel loved. Of conquering obstacles side-by-side. But they left out the part where unselfishness is the segway to love. You feel better telling your loved one how good they are each day than moaning about how they messed up your plans. Which is why expatriation has become my number 1 priority. Women can go-on assuming I lack tact or some other social skill in order to attach the opposite sex. My skill set is not on trial here. What is; my opinion that older women still have more value than younger women which is a fabrication of Western media. Western internet dating sites are dominated by women between 34-50 years of age. Women want to be with men that like them and respect them. Perhaps only when they are 20. And yes, that is your personal issue, not women who are single and over the age you have set in your own head where they lack worth. And Joseph, why would you support an individual that wants to devalue an entire group of people based any factor related to their skin color, creed or age? You do understand that devaluing entire groups of people based on race and religion is no different from doing it based on age yes? Since your target of choice is women, why would you support another man in his degradation of women? Do you enjoy degrading women too? Things like loyalty, maturity, consideration and compatibility are actually more important to marriage. Two of my friends had miscarriages in their mid-20s and another friend gave birth to an autistic baby at 24. Obviously, this is anecdotal, but the point is that percentages and statistics are not absolutes. You might also be disappointed when she rather go out clubbing than stay home and cook you dinner. Women are harassed off those sites, and are capable of dating IRL, so maybe the remaining ones are those that fit into the 35+ category that even older men think are unappealing. Apps like Tinder are also more attractive for younger men and women. Sites like OKCupid and PoF might attract more older users men and women because they require more content for relationships rather than just looking for hook ups. There is also -no- western fabrication that says older women are more valuable than younger women, it is the opposite. Media often pairs much younger women with older men, which is why so many older men have a problem with younger women not wanting them. They feel they are being denied something they seem to think they are entitled to. Keep in mind that the population is aging. There are less young people than older people. Maybe people should try dating people in their own age groups if they are unable to get people younger. And especially have to go to other countries and take advantage of people suffering financial hardships. In many cases those people are used for money, and abandoned when the money is gone. Or after gaining PR or citizenship. Also, millennials mainly grew up on the internet. The mindset is very different from that of baby boomers. Culture plays a big role in younger people wanting to date within their own generation. A 30 year old can relate more to a 20 year old than a 40 year old, in many instances. There are always exceptions, but it is worth considering these aspects before being angry at groups of people. Can you site where you got that information? I do know dating sites that tend to focus on casual sex and hooking-up do tend to skew male. However, dating sites that focus on partnership and marriage tend to skew more heavily female. Not all older men think 35+ year old men are unappealing. Just the ones that have no yet accumulated the emotional intelligence to relate to women, physically, emotionally and mentally beyond pre-pubescent fantasies. And actually, if you review statistics, there is actually less of a cultural gap then previous generations. Older and younger alike are all completely saturated in pop-culture whether we want it or not. Memes and other references are shared cross-generationally. Now older and younger all use the same technology and are all exposed to the same content. Older people are on their iphones as much as younger people. They use Facebook, Instagram and Twitter too. Technology is not the playground of the young only. So maybe both are accurate to say. Yes, there is some risk, but how badly do you want to really fall in love with the future mother of your child ren? I am 40 and have known I was clinically infertile since I was 35. I am otherwise healthy and although pregnancy and childbirth will carry some risk, the genetic risk factor is out. And yet, I want a man who loves me enough and wants a child badly enough to support me in getting donor eggs or adopting embryos so I may become a mother. There is still time with the help of science and good health. You never know until you try to conceive what you may be up against. You or the OP could meet your ideal 32-year-old, fall in love, and find out she will have trouble or need help conceiving. Stop getting caught up in the fertility factor, as infertility is QUITE common among all ages of men and women. I would LOVE to start a family with a 42-year-old man. MEET them in PERSON! Online is a catalog. IN PERSON is more direct and you get to feel the other person. You get to see if you even connect. You want a family? Quit being lazy and get out there! Leave the country too! At your age you better be looking like those guys on the Fitness magazines. You could become a dad 42, but as the child ages, so will you. Perhaps a woman ten years your junior now, is taking that into consideration. I know I would. With the advances in medical technology, women over 40 are having healthy pregnancies everyday. However, you admit that you never had a single conversation about your future family before marrying her. How anyone could get married without having these discussions is beyond me but it was clearly not just her fault if you assumed she wanted what you wanted without asking her opinion. You could have walked out then. Seems disingenuous to blame only her for your situation. How age impacts male fertility has only really been studied in the past 15 years, SEVERAL STUDIES HAVE FOUND OLDER MEN TYPICALLY TAKE MUCH LONGER TO GET EVEN VERY YOUNG WOMEN PREGNANT. Two large studies found huge declines in male fertility by 40, with a 50% decline for most men. A large study in England, the first of its kind, found at 30 a man contributes 6 mos. Another study found men 45-50 add two and a half years, on average, to the time to pregnancy. A study of 600 women in their early 20s paired with men in their 40s found they typically took two and a half years to get pregnant. A study of women 35-39 found they were twice as likely to get pregnant if their partner was under 40 vs. Women aged 35 took 5x longer to get pregnant by men aged 45 vs women aged 35 with partners in their twenties. Women in their early 30s are much more likely to get pregnant in a year if their partner is under 35. Infertility rates in men double between 25 and 35. Some men are significantly more fertile and will beat the odds but at most they are 30% of the population because time to pregnancy numbers are averages. If a 40 or 45 year old is in this category he may instantly get a young woman pregnant, but he is the exception not the rule. She is 3x as likely to have a miscarriage if her partner is 35 VS 25, regardless of her age. At 40, they increase 60% over when a man was in his 20s, even with a woman under 25. The older her partner is the less likely a woman is to carry a baby to term. None of these studies were done in fertility clinics as was previously reported in The Guardian. Even studies on mice found a 50% decline by mid-life, human age 40, and a steep decline after and increasing miscarriage rates. Several studies in fertility clinics found the same. But if someone puts it as the first most important thing I will run away. The guy might say he wants kids, might even mean it, but if you break up where will the children go? Good luck out there no matter what you decide. The children of older fathers have increased risks of breast cancer for their daughters by 60%, they increase the risk of epilepsy by 30%, they increase the risk of down syndrome by 37%, the risk of childhood leukemia is increased by 14%, the risk of nervous system cancers aka brain tumors is increased by 70%. Older fathers are also thought to increase the risk of autism and schizophrenia. Women have been discouraged from having children after age 35 due to concerns about downs syndrome and other issues. Now, men are also being discouraged from having children in their 40s due to exactly the same kinds of health concerns for the child. You can get your eggs frozen at say 33 and then have a very good chance at having a child in your early forties. The cost is less then IVF coming in currently at around 1ok to 15k and around 800 a year to store the eggs. You can increase that age if your willing to hire a surrogate as well. Of course all of these options do require that you have some amount of money. Combine surrogacy with freezing your eggs and the ticking clock goes away. The women that you cater too here are from what I can tell generally wealthy and successful which means they have a good chance at being able to afford it. This then pretty much relieves the time pressure on having kids for me. Instead of a good 8 years I now have something like 13 years. Facebook just started really pushing this for their female employees including paying for it. Divorced, was married to a lady 6 months my junior. Both in the same management category. Both strong minded and will full. We both met late 39 , and with the support of family decided to get married. She battled to have kids, doctors, the works. I can have kids, even now. Went on a date with a 25 year old. Best time of my life… guess not the same for her. I continue to seek that experience, and yeah its very elusive. Perhaps I should just look out for nice 43 year old? Only in the United States many women are morbidly obese, have high blood pressure, diabetes, smoke, drink beer like water, and yet blame fertility and pregnancy issues entirely on age. Find someone of reasonable weight , no bad habits such as smoking or drinking excessively and is free of endocrine problems or gynecological issues like endometriosis and PCOS. There should be very little risk even in her early forties. Focus on finding someone you love and who loves you. There are many risks associated with older fathers such as aspergers, schizophrenia, muscular dystrophy. As well as errectile problems. Yet these women are willing to give you a chance and not seeking someone younger. Why deny yourself happiness due to a fixed idea. Women who date older men are often less attractive so find difficulty finding someone their own age or need financial support. Trust your gut and think about what you want , rather than numbers. Is it not all about personality and values. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all and you may find she is the most beautiful lady you have ever encountered. Also, you state that YOU want to have children — what if the love your life does not want offspring? But you love her because she is enough? And YOU are not taking that medical risk — again — do you not want to get to know a lady first in order to know, firstly, if you love her, and if you do, then surely, that would be enough, either with or without children? And do you not think that you should take her feelings and plans into consideration before laying out the law? You only live once — why not enjoy life and the life you have with your future partner? Enjoy and love her — and she may love you — and you may have a future — although it may be different to the one you envisaged. I wish you both happiness. They dont even realize the sexism of expecting the woman take a risk with old sperm of lesser quality. In their ignorance of science, they assume only women have limits to successful breeding. Women are told all the time that if they didnt bother to get ready for life they arent entitled to marry a man who did, otherwise that makes her a vapid, scorned, gold digger. Well men: if you waited too long to have kids: that doesnt entitle you to someone who had more regard for their breeding potential — it makes you just as vapid and scorned. I have created a child when I was 24. My body is a reproductive powerhouse and birthed a nine pound baby and made milk like a milk maid. Quit being so superficial and trust that you will know how to find a virulent, vivacious and bright woman to bear children. Many women are in tuned to their bodies and can even tell when they are ovulating. If they are writing to you then yes that is their problem. When I was 30 I thought that a man who was 34 was ancient. It goes both ways unfortunately. Even though the risks do go up, the odds are still very good that a woman that age will have a healthy child. Many 35-40 year old women take good care of their health and are having children later. I do know a 26 year old with a child who has down syndrome though. I am currently pregnant with identical twin girls…monochorionic-diamnotic…meaning I only released one egg and it split. My last ultrasound showed zero birth defects and no signs of down syndrome. I am going to be 39 in a couple months. I have healthy babies because I ate healthy, nutrient dense food, practiced yoga and exercised regularly prior to getting pregnant. So incredibly self centred. What woman in her right mind would want an old man who just wants her because she can breed for him. He has spent his entire life chasing skirts and has not found anyone worth his love but at 42 he decides that its time to reproduce.?? The women you go out with must get a pretty creepy sleazy feeling hanging out with you as this is the same feeling a man would get when he meets a gold digger. I suggest its time to give a good woman your heart and actually want to be in a relationship with someone before you place these LARGE expectations on them. And this goes to any other man who has waited till he is 40 to settle. Seriously what ever happened to LOVE not Convenience.!!!!!!! I get everyone wants their freedom and fun when they are young but 40s not young, 30s not young and 25 is pushing it. Young is 18 and under and rest of us should have grown up by now. When did the desire to have children become calling those who want to have children breeders? I am gobsmacked you would say that, but given the tactics used on the front lines of the gender war, maybe not. Women are largely depreciating asset. You are at your highest value under 25, unmarried and no children. The SAME does not happen to men. You would call a man who wants children after 40 a womb digger, its unimaginative and proves that some feminist are in fact misandrist. Memo to men in America. Stress, smoking, bad eating habits, lack of exercise , drug abuse and drinking speed that all up ladies. Ive been looking for a good women to date and have dated some great women. All younger than me as thats whay ive always done. Women that already have children and dont want more should date men in their 40s they do Want children,such as myself. And then you go on about men being discounted. Everyone thinks its all about them. No one really cares about anyone anymore. And we wonder why we have so many unhappy relationships. I agree with Carmela, whatever happened to love, not convenience?!! Also, its only natural that older women would start to gravitate towards younger men if men their age act like they should be put out to pasture once they reach a certain age. But noooo, men are still studs because they can still shoot sperm past a certain age, right? It seem men and women are just. A man in his 40s is really past the age of reproduction as well. If your trying to start a family in your 40s with hopes of kids you would be a womb digger. Think of it this way if you married someone at 40 had 1-2 years before you had kids. Now you are 42 by time that kid is 18 and out of just high school your 60. What kind of life are you giving that kind? My grandparents are in their 60s and that would be the equivalent of them having me. I am 28 and do have kids. I am married and settled with a college education. Women 32 and older increased their chances of giving birth to a down syndrome child each year passed this age. In fact it doubles each year past 32. That is another drawback to waiting. Most people stay within the 3-6 year either way flux keep that in mind. Past that child bearing becomes complicated and dangerous. To you, women seem to be similar to cattle or sheep. You expect them to have certain traits but do not think they have the right to also expect certain traits. To that end, you deserve what you get. Your sperm is not a great contribution to society. I think we nailed your problem in meeting women. If you really are a decent human being with a great deal to offer as a boyfriend, husband and potential dad, then you need to change your approach. Women like to feel they are valued just like you do and not just for their hot fertile bodies. If you are offending women, they are not going to want to date you. Let us not get tunnel vision on this matter. Another point: I once dated a man who was unemployed through no fault of his own despite friends complete and disapproval. He was one of the few men that treated me like gold but you know what? Apparently, he did not feel comfortable dating a woman of a different religion. Just keep on swimming and eventually, the right match will come along, maybe when you least expect it. They despise you just as much as american women, they do what they must for money. I only ask this because most people by the time they reach college figure out that even in your forties you have a long way towards being old. Secondly to that a man has not found anyone worth his love at age 42 because he has been chasing skirts and suddenly wants to have kids. I am in my early forties and I have never been married. I have date women some younger some older. All have been more than worthy of my love, one broke my heart. I realize now it is good we did not stay together. They were good relationships not mere skirt chasing, but I did not love any of them enough to spend the rest of my life with. By the way, in this world both men and women can be gold diggers. Also, while some men may just want a woman for her womb, some women just want a man for his sperm. I am 45 and divorced. I have two healthy intelligent children and I was 30 when I had my first child. Their father was 39. He was married before and had two children. I would have had more but I had to talk my now ex husband into our second child. I am single and not online dating but maybe someday hope to find the love of my life and that dream I will never give up. I am 43 years old, I was married and had my two beautiful daughters at different stages. First one when I was 21, second by the age 26. I was also married for 15 years. Now I am divorced with a 22 year old and a 14 year old. I date women my age not younger. Being a mature man, I want and need a mature woman. Not some young woman who has daddy issues. I for some reason think couples should stick to there same age category within reason. Maybe this may sound wrong to most men reading this post, but I think it is wrong for a 40 plus man to date a woman 10 years younger than him. Maybe because I have daughters, I really do not know why I am that way. So beware of fathers of young woman, and no I am not a UFC buff guy, what I think I can not beat down with my own fists, I would use a bat, If for some reason my bat broke, then my shotgun. Maybe some jail time, but you would be real sorry you did not just stick to your own age group. Sounds like a sensible, decent, common sense man. I am grossed out when men more then 5 or 10 years older then me hit on me, not because I think there is anything wrong with age, but because I think there is something wrong with someone that age trying to sexually interact with someone my age. I have no respect for a man that would do that. Joe…is a respectable man. Sounds like a sensible, decent, common sense man. Maybe some jail time, but you would be real sorry you did not just stick to your own age group. It is really not that creepy to date people younger or older. What is creepy is the attitudes people have. People are attracted to who they are attracted to. What this article is about is not attraction, actually. When people decide that others are there to fulfill their needs and expectations with no regard for the fact that the other is a person at all, there is a serious problem. Unfortunately, this is all too common across U. I do wish however, that older men would leave the young ones alone. I was left with an 11 year old daughter. A single mom which I did not want to be. I made a terrible mistake and I paid for it. I think women who have relationships with older men lack self-confidence. That was my problem anyway. Do you not even realize how many other women are out here, wishing they had that? If the only thing that bothers you is that he died early, you need to stop with that because the same could happen with a younger guy, or much more likely is that he leaves you for a younger woman. Because some of you make an issue of this, I asked myself a hypothetical question. If I had to choose between an older guy who loved me completely, but would die on me, or a guy my age or younger who would leave me for a younger woman, I will take the older guy, who actually loves me, and take him without hesitation. It is her choice and what will make her happy, will make me happy. My father was 20 years older than than my mother. He traveled until he found a place he could make his home and then to find someone to start a family. My brother, sister and I would never be here if my father gave up because he was too old. We love life and we are happy to be on this earth. I too want a family because the woman I married lied is not my fault but now is my problem. I want a family with several children just like the family I grew up in. Your problem is dealing with life. There is bad with the good and if you commit a crime by hitting some one or committing a more serious injury, you are the one who is ill and should pay the price to justice. I for one get discouraged at the number of women 38-46 who have never had kids and list in their profiles that they want kids. The right man will be enough for them. You come to this board to tell us that all American women are b—-es and that you are trying to turn other men against American women as well because we are so awful, and now you come here and admit that you lie about something as important as wanting children in order to get what you want from women. Be honest in your profile, and if some woman who is on the fence about having children sees your profile and thinks that you may be enough for her, then she might respond. How do you sleep at night telling such a big whopper of a lie online? What if you did meet a WONDERFUL woman and she had no children and really desired them? I thought you were a religious man. I thought I was being a cynic with this thinking, thanks for confirming it is a lie. No more boxes to check, no more trying to decipher a 2-D profile. Just trying to meet the 3D audio-visual man in the real world, and get to know someone face to face. Trying to decipher the lies from the truth is tricky on or offline, but I do think it is easier IRL. She should not assume that it means he is willing to have children. What site is this. I would like to see what options it gives for you to describe your thoughts on children, because if the options are so limited that it can give false impressions, then I see his answer as perfect, since it is benign and requires discussion on the topic. Also, all OLD sites allow you to write a free form profile, so one could explain that they are done having their own biological children, but would be open to dating a single parent, if that option is not available in the drop down box. I looked at what he said again, and I still was not seeing what you see. So I looked for more of his posts, and used that to do 10 minutes of research. I found his profile. So I went back and read it again. It seems he is speaking hypothetically what he would do and I feel I understand why after looking on that site. I saw some women in their late 40s also stating yes. Shall I roll my eyes now? So it seems clear to me that he was saying that by doing this, he might get matched with these women, and they might see his profile and strike up a conversation. I do not see where he intended to trick women. It seems he was discussing a hypothetical situation. And he was saying that he wondered how many people were not being truthful about that question, and yes, I can see it turning into a vicious circle. It appears this is what he was saying. Then through in that if he did that, there might also be some women who are on the fence, not really sure they want kids, but they feel lonely, need someone to love, and like a teenage girl , think popping out a baby is the answer. Nowhere does he say he intended to trick women. Show me where you see that. Then I will point you back to the word unsure. I would make sure the man and myself were clear on our expectations and not just something as important as that. But if I did want something as important as children, I for sure would make the man let me know what he wants. No more sitting on the fence when we start talking a serious relationship. In fact, I am not even going to consider a serious relationship without making sure we are on the same page. Yes, I know that men and women lie on their dating profiles. THE TRUTH is ALWAYS important. Lying about age, place of residence, employment, smoking habits, relationship intentions is the new normal. The truth is not always right. There are many instances where it is common to lie. Do these pants make my butt look big? Whether to not you put separated or divorced is your choice but you have zero right to judge anyone. I had a friend who put divorced. She had been separated for 2 years and had not lived together for 5. Long story but there was a legit reason. She was just a couple of months away from being divorced. As soon as she was able to make contact with men, she would let them know that he divorce was not yet final, but this also allowed her a chance to give an explanation. Often, people assume that you are recently separated. Every man she talked to was fine and admitted that they were glad she put divorced because in their mind, she was closer to being divorced than their idea of what separated is. One told her that his biggest worry with separated is that they may get back with their husband, or that their wounds are still too fresh. With her, they realized that was not the case. She could barely even remember what it was like living with her husband. And again, I do not read that Rusty was intending to defraud those women. Had he said yes, that would be entirely different. All a moot point since the profile of his I found does not say unsure, it says no. You can find it too with simply deductive reasoning. I might make my fake profile I created, into a real profile and send him a message. I did like what he said in his profile. I think the ladies here ran him off. I will admit that I did not agree with every last thing he wrote, but I did notice he was never aggressive or personally disrespectful, that I saw. But his posts were quite unpopular with some, and I can see why, but I also can see the difference between him posting unpopular opinions, and the personal attacks often made against him because of his opinions. Maybe he did not offend me because I never felt he was talking to me, since I do not fall into the group he seems to have a problem with. But maybe it is better that he does, because of the personal attacks. I am a 30 year old woman and I can tell you from experience… all the men that court me are womb diggers. I would love to meet a guy in his mid to late 30s, get married, maybe have kids, have a house, the whole shebang. But the only men that court me are 40 — 50+ guys who look at me like prize livestock. I already have a daughter, I honestly dont care if I ever have any more children. But womb digger, omg. I completely relate to that. Who knows why he stayed 5 years with someone who had such different life goals. Maybe she waffled in the beginning and said that she might want to have children. And who knows what his relationship history was prior to that. We women get all up in arms, when men write with such contempt about 30 something women longing for a husband and family. My last GF strung me along for 6 years claiming that she wanted kids, but not yet, until finally admitting that she had lied from the beginning. Even after that it took me another 2 years to break up with her, because I really did love her anyway. Thank you for being fair and not assuming bad intent. Watching him have fun with us made me not so afraid of getting older. My grandparents had been married for over 30 years at that point. My parents are still married to this day. I often used to wonder what my own marriage would be like. I was kind of an outcast. I graduated school, and went on to get a good job with a fortune 500 company. I did stand-up at local comedy clubs. But I still found it almost impossible to date. Am I in a hurry to have kids? And despite being a little older, I can still show her a good time, and play catch with our son, or have a tea party with our daughter. Women are attracted to strong and confident men. Unfortunately many times this comes along with being an asshole. There are many PUA sites which will give you tips on what women are attracted to. In other words there is data to back this up for all the naysayers out there. You might have to go overseas. Eastern Europe, Latin America and the Orient are places to go. Just because they are young, it does not guarantee they will have a healthy child. I also know women in their 40s giving birth for the first time to super healthy and smart babies. Yes of course older women have higher risks giving birth to healthy babies. However I have read UK medical research report that the older age of men not women were a huge factor on the increase of autism. Go out and meet real people face to face. Strike up conversations while waiting in line for starbucks. Check out your local events calendar for your city and meet people-real people. Go to pool parties. Go to food events sponsored by the city. BTW lately the single guys i have met who are in the 40s, they act so OLD which turns women off. Guys hate to ask for advice; however they can gain alot by asking women what turns women off about men. Women can also gain from asking men advice. If I had it to do again I would have a child young with someone else young because it is easier on your body and gives you more time for enjoyment on the tail end of life. I had a child with a man younger than me — not intentionally, but being in my late thirties it was 20 something guys who wanted to date me! Worked out great, she is smart and has a very young, energetic dad. Perhaps that is the case? You feel insecure about your own aging process? Our society has gone mad. I never thought much of dating an older woman, but boy since I hit 30yrs old women seem to make a bigger deal about a guy dating younger women. Even to the point that a man wanting to date someone 5 years younger leaves women feeling that the only biggest men appreciate about them is their age. Can you blame women for feeling that way? Take a look how men talk about women here? Women deal with so much external pressure about their age that I think are tired. Just like men no longer just want to be an extension of their paychecks or job. Just find some poor, economically disadvantaged gold digger from a third world country. Oh, and leave any shred of self respect you have left at the border. No offense to this man, but I agree with the women who say that he waited to long. While there are exceptions, most younger women most women in general prefer to be with a man who is within the same age bracket as we are. I know I am one of these women, for several reasons. This is the reason why I want to find someone who is at the same stage of life as me. Additionally, my own father took off when I was very young and left my mother and I with absolutely nothing. For this reason, I refuse to have a child at this point in my life when I have literally nothing to provide for it. It just seems unfair to have a child in my situation. Most times when you see a young woman with a man over 40 I said MOST not ALL. There are exceptions , it is usually because he has a lot of money and not because of romantic chemistry. With that being said, I personally am not averse to dating an older man provided I like him, we have chemistry and there is no pressure on my part to give him a child. Oh and for the men who pointed out that childbearing in women over the age of 34 is a risk factor, there are risk factors in children of men over a certain age too. In a few years, this man will be a medical risk factor himself. Women these days, just like yourself, are incredibly screwed up. So, when do think you would have kids, when you are 45? It makes me sick to see modern families when 45 year olds have their first children. And for all of you, women, a man will naturally want to have kids with you when you are in your most attractive fertile age of 20-30 yo. Your biological clock says the same. So, when you are 45 chances are higher you will be screwing yourselves, but that does not get you pregnant. Not you, not I , or anyone else. She has a right to wait until she wants. Not everyone is going to get pregnant. And yes, the rate of infertility goes up for women and men with age. We all know this. Our twins have outranked most of their peers since they were in elementary school, and they are among the youngest in their graduating class. A lot their performance stems from having older parents who took the time to become established before getting married and starting a family. Both of their parents hold graduate degrees, and are self-made professionals. I put myself through college and graduate school, and I did it after serving in uniform on active duty for five years I enlisted straight out of high school. A little known fact is that there were no post-service G. Men and women who enlisted during that period of time were not eligible for the Vietnam G. Bill or the Montgomery G. Alot of women are tired of men treating our ages like something they are owed and deserve to own to carry on their genes through children. You married a younger woman. Your children turned out healthy. But we all know you never would have married someone 8 years older than yourself even though you felt entitled to marry your younger wife. So just stop defending your male-privilege in settling down with someone significantly younger than you and acting like you are the one that brought more biological worth to the situation. On that note, there are studies out there that say older women specifically, not older fathers, are more likely to have smarter, taller, stronger children. So maybe you should attribute those wonderful kids of yours more to your wife instead of bragging about your accomplishments specifically. And think people over estimate the odds of health in late paternal age. It is not a website to help men find walking wombs. You should look for the website that helps men find walking wombs that will carry on your DNA instead of trying to force women to view themselves as the walking wombs you see them as. There are plenty of other websites that certainly share your beliefs about why women exist. But this website is about women finding quality relationships with quality men. This website is about women fviilding better relationships with men. Women are simply people who want love. They are not looking to be a vehicle to your DNA or come to websites designed to help them find love, only to find men like you here you clearly are not interested in helping women find love. Please let us find love. We are not hurting you in anyway by doing so. Let us find what we want in peace, free from your oppression. Rewarding women delaying marriage and children looking for Mr. At my income level only single mothers and cast-offs are available and it just got worse and worse as I got older. Is the penalty for not making 50K rescuing women the rest of Male society impregnants and tosses back? Since Feminist wanted to IMBRA law, Congress wanted a study of the industry. The default culture has not been beneficial to minorities and now it is focusing on men. Because you need men to fight back against an increasingly combative and intrusive Government. Ultimately as quality of life continues to tumble in the United States, women will increasingly look for the bigger and better deal and calls for polygamy will get louder; further impacting men in the lower ranges of the middle class. By the way, since when should I or other men be more concerned about foreign women taking everything when American women have made an industry of it in the United States? I know for a fact that she makes more than her boyfriend. Most men and women want to be able to filter based on age, each person having their own comfort zone. And yet, some people lie about their age, so you would think that age verification would be demanded. I did that as an experiment just to see what would happen and got nothing but positive responses from it. Again, I was very clear in my profile what my real age was. Usually, once they see that women over 40 can be pretty, they are happy to date us. I had no problem with this whatsoever, but at first it seemed like a bit of a novelty. In this case, however, I think the failure to find dates may be a function of what this 42 year old is looking for. But you have to find the right person to have this happen, and, as we all know, that gets increasingly difficult with age, self-awareness, and a shrinking pool of date material. I think some of us choose to remain single on a subconscious level to avoid this whole subject. I know for a fact that most very eligible men in their 40s do not want children. Most men in their 40s, especially the most eligible ones, tend to already have children or they do not want children. Think of the life two people past their mid-30s can share when they remove the burden of having kids. And most of our peers have children old enough to leave at home by themselves, or their children have moved out and moved on with their own lives, so they are free to take a cruise to the Bahamas on a whim, or hop on a plane to Europe, or just pop out to a movie and romantic dinner. Why would a woman in her later 30s or early 40s want to give that up to pop a baby out for some egotistical male who thinks the world just has to have his genes passed on into the next generation? You can fall in love with someone without seeing them as a sperm donor or egg carrier. Heck, Mel Gibson at 60, just got his 26 year girlfriend pregnant. Whether it has defects, remains to be seen. There is wonderful information on Webmd about male fertility. Yet we still exclusively focus on women. When the children are healthy, everyone acts like it was all because of the Dad. I am not sure of this blog site allows for other links to be posted. All you need to do is google male fertility statistics. Men need to knock that off. Most defects can be detected long before the 3rd trimester, so this is not a huge issue. I would advise to be serious in your early 20s, so that you may find they right person, and maybe get married in your mind to late twenties, then have children on your early thirties. To those who are older, stop making an issue of this. The risks are not that big. Does that mean I think a 34 yr. We started out as friends and it lasted like that for almost 2 years. Things then got serious. We became intimate and very close, lived together, vacationed together, we were all but married on paper. I started asking her about getting married, she kept putting it off. When I turned 36, she made a big party and announced in front of family and friends, she accepted my proposal and we will marry. After the party ended, I said lets get married with a quick wedding and lets get pregnant because we have no time to waste, she knew I wanted a family, 2+ kids. She said she loved me but that she was 4 years older that kids was not a good idea to her. I felt trapped and used. Everything was great and just what I thought a marriage could be, sure we had our arguments and disagreements but we always were able to come to an understanding, a mutual compromise, and making up was always the best. This cut me down. I said no children, no marriage. It took several years to regroup then I met my ex, she was my age and wanted a family too. We dated for a year and a half, married and our child was born 9 months later. And then, everything shut down. Separate bedrooms, no more anything together. She knew her ability to conceive was coming to an end. Money and her job was her priority and our child was just for show just like her car and our house. I am looking for an honest woman to start a family. I have never hidden that fact. So now, I will try dating a woman who knows from the start that I want a family of 2+ children and that our relationship is based on love and trust. They do not keep up with current events, music or fashion think goatees and mom jeans. They often seem very very stuck in their ways. So as an attractive 38 year old, I am able to attract young men, and prefer their vibrancy. The older men who do keep up and are a tiny bit metrosexual probably have a easier time of it. Maybe you can do a little to be more attractive to the women you are looking at…. I really want to date men my own age….. I continue to LIVE my life. So you can both quote meaningless popular culture references? In most cases a woman 4-5, even 10 years younger will still know some of these things. The importance people put on non-important stuff is shocking to me. To all of you with age issues, we may look like your fathers, but we are so much more…with caring, sensitive and even vibrancy someone discounted above. I see it from women and men…not just from Anthony. Both men and women can create babies into their 40s and beyond. The question is, should they, and my answer to that is no for both of them. But hey, do what you want. To the men acting like all a woman is good for is bearing children, you are ignorant and I find you repugnant. Thankfully, I have never met men like you in real life. You are the same as women who think men are only good for one thing…providing them with material things or money. And ladies, you can stop making an issue of viagra. Maybe you have never been with a guy who used it. At first I was put off by the thought of it because I did not understand it. But I was with a guy I found very attractive ad he was respectful enough to be honest about it. So I wanted to give him a chance. He excused himself to take his pill, and then we sat and watched a movie for a little while and talked. I thought the pill would just make him get hard…which was what turned me off. I wanted to know that it was me. Well we were cuddling and just talking as the movie played and I was waiting for him to get hard. I asked if the pill was not working and explained that I thought it would have made him get hard by now. He said that I am what would make him hard, not the pill. I assure you that my attitude shifted, and i shifted into high gear at that point, becoming much more passionate, and my reward was one of the best nights of sex ever. So it seems modern medicine makes having to chase young brats obsolete if what you are after is good sex. I also find plenty of 40+ men who like to go out and do things. I prefer better things to do. I got over the club scene a long time ago. Oh, I should correct that. I do know some older guys who like to go dancing at the clubs, but I prefer other activities. As for couch potatoes, I did date one once, and he is no longer a couch potato. I think marriage does that to a lot of guys. They no longer have the money to do many of these things so the get out of the habit. I would call this guy up and tell him that I was coming by to pick him up and tell him how he should get dressed. After several times of doing this, he started calling me and telling me what to wear, and he picked me up. He just needed somebody to rejuvenate his attitude and I knew that. The only problem is, when he became active again, he lost the desire for a long term relationship. He was afraid of falling back into that rut. But I find plenty of men over 40 who are not couch potatoes. I feel that some women are simply making excuses to justify their lack of desire to date older men. I looked through some profiles recently for both men and women. I notice a lot of women putting their age ranges lopsided in favor of younger men. What are they thinking? Men are even more averse to marrying older than women are. Sorry, but I feel much better in a relationship knowing that a man cherishes me, and I know I am not likely too get that from a significantly younger man. I know have learned through experience that while you still have to be choosy, you will feel much more cherished by a slightly older man. I am 33 and never had trouble attracting men in their 30s. I ended up with a man who is 39, I guess there are plenty of men and women who are in the same age range who find one another. Let em eat cake! Feminism has ruined this country. Why does it bother you so much that a man wants a woman his age? You seem stuck with an idea of a woman as some depreciating asset. Guess what — I live in one of the countries of Eastern Europe and none of the single women I know dream about older men from USA coming to save us from spinsterhood. Thank God, good old feminism got here sooner than you! We all want to be valued for more than superficial things but we all also want someone we find attractive. We called them the menopause babies. My great aunt Claire had a child late in life, a surprise shall we say. Her daughter was younger then her grandchildren. So the chances of a 41 year old woman having a baby is good. It might take a little longer to get pregnant but it can happen. I am 44 years old and look like I am in my early 30s. I exercise regularly, watch what I eat, take care of my skin, and have a great wardrobe. I have a very good job and financially independent. I have no problem dating a younger guy or a guy my age; it is wise to be open-minded otherwise you are limiting yourself. I do think that younger men take better care of themselves, overall. Also, you say that you do think that younger guys take better care of themselves. Well the truth is that they do not. In all age groups you have those who do and those who do not. If he takes reasonably good care of himself, I think a 50 year old man can be very sexy. Another poster said something to the effect of they all list their hobbies as only grilling and sports. Give them Just a little break. Is this really a trend? Lately, an 89 yr. I also think it could be a bit of an eye opener to those who believe they look much younger than they are. They also tend to expect a woman to be in great shape, attractive, etc. It is really usually not FUN to date a man in that age bracket. Most people who are single want to meet someone they can have fun and enjoyable times with. Again, you people keep lumping all people of an age into one group and assume they act the same. And yes, I know I look good, and it is not for some bizarre reason. Why is there so much hatred of people older than 25 on this site? You do realize that everybody gets older, right? If you live long enough, you will be 80 one day. At 80, i might just start getting some grey hair. Tracy is saying the exact same thing guys say about dating younger women — the only difference is the female perspective — and so many guys are quick to jump on her for it. She could be all of these things, but you would never throw that vitriol at a man who only dates significantly younger. However, just like I think a man saying any woman over 30, the fun declines drastically, is an idiot, I think the same of women who would say that of men. My experience has been that age has no bearing on how fun a person is to be around, and that goes for both women and men, friends or boyfriends. I know both men and women who are in their twenties who are about as dynamic as a wet firecracker. He reminds me of that guy who at 79 was still barefoot water-skiing. I think his name was Banana George. Even at 79, he could barefoot water ski, holding the tow line in his teeth while holding bananas in his hands. Would I want to date him? No, he is way too old for me. But, I can also admit that even at his age, he was likely a lot more fun to be around than many guys a fraction of his age. This also allows me to see that many men my age and older are a lot of fun to be around, and date. I look at the man, not his age so much. That said, because I am not interested in just casual sex and casual relationships, I am not very attracted to much younger men. I refuse to live in fantasy land where you can ignore the true intentions of the vast majority of them. That would indeed be interesting! How come you wanna have kids only in your late 30s? And frankly, nowadays women are leading a more active lifestyle than men in general. Older men among even my early 30s guy friends , they tend to wanna be couch potatoes and home-bound. Whereas women still in their 30s wanna go out, do stuff, etc are even financially independent to continue to do so without tying herself down to be a child-bearing machine. My cusin just had his first child at 37, and his girlfriend is about 13-15 years old. I find this to be the case where I live in new york. The women here, love and are having children by men 8-15 years older than they are. So stay off the online dating sites, theirs nothing there but liars and snobby woman who are not confident enough for the most part to get a man on their own in the real world. Men and women start to lose their fertility at about 25. By about 33 men are also starting to lose the rigidity of their erections. It is possible for a man tofather a child at 370, but not ve. Further, women arent stuck up just bc they arent into you. The 1st rule of having the maturity to date is you have to be able to handle rejection like an adult. Conceived him the FIRST time we had sex without birth control. I love seeing great long-term relationships, although truly great ones are truly uncommon. Please read all of my points here, before forming an angry opinion. There are two things that will crank my sex drive way up… one of them is a woman I love very much, and the other is a woman I am very physically attracted to— and whether I like it or not, she has to be fit and young enough to be of reproductive age. Biologically, this is the basic mechanism of physical attraction, and much of it is undeniably visual for most men, and that means young women. Beyond physical attraction which is subconsciously tied to reproductive drives, there can be love that goes much deeper. Many men can physically and biologically father children right up into their 60s or 70s. These men are not dirty old men just because they find young women hot. Why should that change just because they get older? Many men are biologically wired that way, and no complaining or debating will change that. Things such as internal distractions, personal and life stresses, pressure, and lack of attraction to the woman. As far as good-quality long-term relationships go, there are three important things that have nothing whatsoever to do with age. In the long term, the quality of their personal connection is probably the most important, because it will add fuel to the first two. Of all the marriages that I have seen fail, it is the lack of deep personal connection that mostly causes failure years later. About the deep personal connection, young men and young women usually miss out when choosing their partners, because the other two factors blind them initially. It can often take a few years of being together before the depth of that is known. Hasty marriages add to the high divorce rate. But a very strong personal connection will go a long, long way. Unfortunately, from the hundreds of relationships I have seen, such great connections are simply rare. This is partly because people get tied up in relationships, long before they ever know what they might really want out of life. Does that sound reasonable to you? The truth is that we are no longer cavemen and we have made a civilization that rises above that kind of nonsense. We also no longer accept that clubbing each other over the heads is acceptable behavior. People can and have advanced culturally. Has it ever occurred to any of you that there is a gigantic media influence at work here, which has wired your brains your entire lives? Television, movies, magazines, pornography, etc. You have been brainwashed your entire lives into believing that the only woman worth desiring is a young one. There are sexy, vibrant, beautiful women to be found at all stages of life. I often wonder what would happen if the media began to put the focus on finding women of all ages sexy and desirable. The problem is, I want to have a family. If we can get pregnant and have a family, than lets do it. I have many an opportunity to have all the sex I want. I only just want to make love to my wife because I love her and want to have a family just like my parents did. I have a great brother and a fantastic sister. We are very close and all are married except for me, the divorce and hopefully soon the annulment so I can start with a clean slate and our spouses and children are truly wonderful. Never mind that I am extremely satisfied with my law career, and work 8:30 to 5:30 with ample vacation time off and great benefits. I am paid well and have plenty of time to pursue hobbies and vacation with friends and family. I have run into certain men who are prejudiced against female lawyers. Never mind the fact that many of my female colleagues at my office are in long term happy marriages, some with kids. But if this is what these guys think, well, glad to hear it up front. It can make it a little harder to find a good man, though. You are a lawyer who undoubtedly makes a decent living. This frees you to find a good guy who will appreciate you. Maybe he will be the guy who fixes your AC, or a UPS driver who delivers to your office, from time to time. Or Maybe a carpenter who is working on a house next door. However Johnny might be on something here — I know very few couples where both spouses are lawyers. So if this is not happening, your profile or approach must need serious work. Or you can buy his program. Or get an honest friend to look over your profile and critique it. That email came from a German lady by the way not an American. This is the downfall of a country that claims its proudly multi-cultural but in practice fails miserably. The majority of White women that stare at my profiles and sometimes message me are over 40 and beyond the age of having children when I clearly have stated I want children in my profile. He jumped on a plane, went to Ukraine, found his wife she found him… , in less than a year he filed for a K1, it was approved, he went back to pick her up they talked via Skype during that time , that was the first him her met her parents… His wife Alyona is now 30 she was 28 when they married been married 3 years and have two kids. Now here are my feelings on the subject. I truly believe that a lot of, if not all of courtship has to do with timing. The fact of the matter is that there are and always be mitigating factors when it comes to meeting the right person. I have found that a majority of women online in their profiles place a huge emphasis on financial specifics as to what their expectations are for the man they are seeking. It seems to be okay or expected of a man to be financially stable and take care of a woman, but at the same time a man immediately is a deadbeat if he has any expectations of having a woman take care of him? I suppose that is why I see a lot more men going to other countries to find a companion. It seems at least to me a different kind of cultural experience exists in countries where people are just simply seeking a better more fullfiling life. Afterall I dont think anyone is us would be surprised that a majority of people outside of the US are far worse off than we are. The girls there would marry a homeless American man over a Ukranian man, truth. So your friend got lucky — yay? I still say its sad that he had to go and find a bride elsewhere. Shows he cant conform to his own society. Why not a Ukranian girl raised right but still American? Its cause its easier to control the chick when she doesnt speak your language. Im fairly exotically beautiful, Im told. I have men fall at my feet at the grocery store asking me to put diamonds on my hand, especially Muslim men. Most men with confidence can bloom wherever they are planted. My friends got lucky? Try multiplying that out into the mid five digit zone. A friend of mine who is successful producer of commercial ads in his city both TV and Radio went back to his home country Russia to find a bride after he caught his American born wife with his best friend! Another friend and co-worker of mine who met his now ex-wife in drug rehab also caught her red handed banging his best friend. Two years ago he married a woman from the Philippines as he found himself in a similar situation to the original poster. I can continue to give you examples of American men who are not among the 5-6% of men between 18-35 that the majority of American women want. All of them successfully went to other countries and found wives that love them and produced children, some of them before the internet was widely used as tool to find single women. Sorry but like I said contrary to popular opinion with people that read my comments on here, women like me. I find the economic system quite problematic; I assume the reason you came to the US in the first place is for economic opportunities that are not possible in your home country. I am quite familiar with Eastern Europe. If you say Ukraine is a cess pool that might make you Russian because those are the only people that talk negatively about Ukrainians. But my post have never been about me. You can put whatever Feminist, Right Wing, Free Market nonsense spin you want on it. But dating is one of the only true free markets in the world. From Prostitution to Marriage some would say they are closer than most people think men are free to choose who they want, women have less practice at that art and you see the results. Trust me — my work takes me to many countries and I have lived for extended periods of time overseas. I know there are gold digging women in EVERY country and they know who to find easy targets — bitter, shallow, insecure American men looking to fulfill a deluded fantasy and willing to shell out what cash they have to soothe their egos— and they know how to play you like a violin. Do I know men who married non-American woman who are wonderful women and they are happy? Yes of course and many of them. But the difference is the latter are decent men not consumed by hatred for American women, and need to prove they are men by finding women they can walk all over. Again, you attract what you put out there — whether you are in Tennesee, Thailand or anywhere in between. Anthony says: I can continue to give you examples of American men who are not among the 5-6% of men between 18-35 that the majority of American women want. Are you seriously suggesting that only 5-6% of the male population is desired by and has a chance with American women? Hypocrisy at its finest. The reality is not that American women only want 5-6% of American men. Women above a certain age, women who have average or below average looks but who have integrity and might be a compatiable partner are not good enough for men like you. You may want women for selfish reasons status, sex, etc. I am not in a serious LTR at 33 with a man who is 39. When we recently discussed our timeline for having kids, I told him 35 or 36 because I want us to still have fun times together, just the two of us. He agreed with this. I want to be married and have a child but I still want to enjoy getting to know him before we are strapped down with a child who takes up most of our time. Women in their early-mid 30s still have this opportunity. But on online you just have age cut offs. In person, I am often approached by men 10 -15 years my junior. Online alot less so. When you are young you picture yourself dating someone within 5 years of your age. As you get older the range increases. I know this is often perceived as a red flag for a 42 year-old guy. It sounds like his initial email and his profile may need revising. Maybe he talks about wanting to start a family in his profile. Many women of today are interested in dating and claim they want to find a good guy, but in reality, eh … not so much. They are as he has described: successful, career-oriented, independent, active, financially strong, self-empowered, and loving life. They also do not always want children. And some women are choosing to have children, but not in the traditional way.
